For Some Asian Americans, Retirement Means Relying on Their Children

Kenneth Sue, 25, always knew he’d need to support his mom financially as he got older. From a young age, he and his sister were ingrained with the expectation that they would care for their mom, a Taiwanese immigrant who worked as a cashier after she retired.

“My mom would be like, ‘I’m sending you guys to school, and I’m giving you guys all these opportunities, so when I grow old, you can take care of me,'” said Sue. “It was kind of like a joke, but not really… As a kid, I just internalized it.”

Retirement May Look Different for Asian Americans

Like many other Asian Americans, Sue and his sister are responsible for being their parents’ retirement plan. For Asian American children, this could mean parents moving in with them or sending money regularly to assist with household expenses.

Jared Tanimato, a Japanese-American CFP and founder of Sedai Wealth Partners, says this dynamic is common among his first- and second-generation Asian American clients.

“A lot of times, [my client’s] parents came over here and didn’t have very high-income jobs. Their kids—who are usually in their 20s, 30s, or 40s—are usually the ones seeking advice and are high-earners and help support their parents,” said Tanimato. “Sometimes they [clients] are torn on fulfilling an obligation in order to contribute and support their parents, even if it means they might have to work longer.”

Among all racial groups, Asian American retirees were the most likely to report living with their children, according to an Employee Benefit Research Institute analysis of 2023 Census data. About 30% of Asian American respondents said they lived with their children, compared with 25% of Hispanic respondents and just 8% of white non-Hispanic respondents.

In Irvine, California, where Tanimoto is located, he says it’s common to see homes specifically designed for multigenerational living.

“The Asian population is probably about 40% of the demographic in the city,” said Tanimoto. “Some homes are being built and marketed for multi-generational living—that’s a way to help save on costs.”

Sue lives at home with his mother, and while she hasn’t retired yet, as she’s gotten older and started working less, he’s started covering more of the household bills like the mortgage payments. He and his sister plan to fully provide for her when she retires.

“I’m lucky that I can live where I live [with] New York being such a high-cost-of-living place,” said Sue. “At the end of the day, it would be cheaper to live at home versus moving out.”

A Balancing Act for Asian American Children

However, not all Asian Americans can manage their finances and their parents’ retirement needs simultaneously.

After Sharuq Alam’s father passed away suddenly at age 59, he became responsible for financially supporting his mother, who had been a stay-at-home mom. His father, a Bangladeshi immigrant, didn’t have a will and never shared anything about his finances.

“My income was the only income. I went from living on my own and sort of having my own place to living back at home and taking care of my mom and the bills,” said Alam. “It’s one of those things you can’t plan for.”

For Alam, who was 25 years old at the time, the financial burden was immense—he had to use his savings to cover his mom’s mortgage and pay for the funeral, incurring debt that he hopes to have completely paid off sometime soon.

When Tanimato works with his younger Asian American clients, he suggests they have conversations with their parents about estate planning and long-term care. “Try to understand what [assets] your parents have,” he said.

He also notes that since some first-generation Asian immigrants may be reluctant to invest their money, favoring cash instead, he recommends that children provide their parents with educational resources about investing.

Sue has been actively working to educate his mother about finances since she distrusts financial institutions. “I think the most important thing has been teaching my mom about setting up auto-pay or using a credit card to get points [on purchases]—those kinds of financial literacy things,” said Sue.

The Bottom Line

Asian American children may face cultural expectations to support and care for their parents in retirement financially. Therefore, it can be important for Asian American children to have transparent, honest conversations about money with parents well before they’re ready to retire.

This can mean asking questions about their assets, how they plan to cover living expenses in retirement, and whether they would like to live with their children or alone in retirement.

While providing financial support can be burdensome for some people, the obligation to do so can be an honor, too.

“For me, I didn’t really have a guide,” said Alam. “Having to go through that has set me up for better success now and made me more responsible very early in life.”