Are You a Target of Financial Abuse? Here Are the Signs To Spot

When most people think of domestic violence, physical trauma comes quickly to mind. But that form of abuse is almost always paired with another risible relationship pattern: financial abuse. This insidious form of control affects nearly all cases of domestic violence, yet many might not recognize it until they feel financially cornered.

“Financial abuse is a powerful tool that abusers use to exert control, often leaving victims feeling trapped and powerless,” Stephanie Love-Patterson, president of the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV), told Investopedia. “It is essential that people are aware of the facts and available resources.” 

Below, we take you through the signs. We also provide expert suggestions on what you can do should you find them all too familiar.

What Is Financial Abuse?

Financial abuse occurs when someone uses money and other financial resources to control or otherwise manipulate your actions. Abusers can greatly damage your credit score, employment history, and long-term finances—but the most warped aspect of financial abuse is how it’s aimed at undermining your autonomy.

Love-Patterson said that common misconceptions are that “financial abuse is only about money” and that “without physical violence, it’s not serious.” Research shows that this kind of abuse happens in 99% of domestic violence cases, “making it one of the prevalent forms of abuse,” Love-Patterson noted.

Red Flags: How To Recognize Financial Abuse

Financial abuse can develop gradually, so many don’t realize it’s happening. Here are the warning signs experts say to watch for:

Control Over Your Work Life

• Being forbidden to work.
• Constant calls, texts, or surprise visits at work that get you in trouble—even to the point of getting you fired. As one target described it, according to an Institute for Women’s Policy Research report, her abuser “would come to my work… and start trouble. Cussing and screaming and throwing a hissy fit.”
• Being prevented from attending job training or other opportunities to advance your career.

Studies shows that 83% of survivors report that their partners disrupted their ability to work, with 70% saying they couldn’t keep a job because of the abuse. As one target of abuse put it, “I was not allowed to work for 12 years for more than an odd job here and there. I can’t even begin to start listing [the] lost opportunities.”

Control Over Bank Accounts, Credit Cards, and Debts

• Not allowing you access to bank, credit, and other financial accounts or directing how all your money is spent.
• Closing joint credit card accounts or running up large amounts of debt in your name
• Keeping you on an “allowance” and “punishing” you by changing its amount
• Holding back money for things you or your children need, like medicine or food
• Forcing you to take on debt, sign for credit cards, or engage in financial crimes (filing fraudulent taxes, check kiting, etc.)
• Stealing your identity, property, or money owed to you, including inheritances

Studies show that 73% of survivors say their abusers took money from them against their will, while 82% report that their abusers damaged, destroyed, or took their personal property. In addition, 59% had an abusive partner who harmed their credit score, which prevented 66% from getting a loan, 63% from accessing housing, and 21% from getting a job.

One survivor described the long-term impact to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research: “My ex-partner put a large amount of debt onto my credit cards. Convinced me he’d pay them but didn’t… It took nearly seven years to be able to find employment and rebuild my credit.” Without ready access to money, it’s exceedingly difficult to physically leave an abusive home, pay a security deposit for another place to stay, find and maintain employment, or provide for the basic necessities you or your children need.

Retaliation and Control Tactics

• Taking the car keys or turning off your vehicle to restrict your mobility and freedom
• Shutting off utilities, refusing to pay rent, or threatening homelessness as “punishment”
• Freezing or liquidating joint bank accounts, especially after you seek help for your situation
• Refusing to pay for child care or otherwise making it impossible for you to work or attend school

If You Recognize These Signs

“When planning to separate finances, safety is paramount,” Love-Patterson said, then noted the NNEDV’s advice for protecting yourself:

• Secure your personal information: Change passwords for all accounts and ensure that recovery options are not available to the abuser. 
• Use safe devices: Access financial information from devices that the abuser can’t monitor. 
• Talk to an advocate: Seek guidance from domestic violence advocates who can help create a safety plan. 
• Seek legal information: Talk to a lawyer or seek legal information. “The Women’s Law Email Hotline can provide free and confidential personalized legal information for victims of domestic violence,” Love-Patterson noted.

The Bottom Line

Financial abuse affects nearly every abusive relationship. The warning signs—from controlling your spending and sabotaging your employment to isolating you and forcing you into debt—may start subtly but escalate over time. Unlike other forms of abuse, financial abuse can continue even after physical separation, making it an ongoing means of control.

However, as Love-Patterson suggested, if this is happening to you, your story doesn’t have to end there. “Recognizing the signs and seeking support can be the first steps toward reclaiming independence and safety,” she said.